AVALON BEACH SURF CLUB, NSW. Harry the Caretaker. An old mate from the Surf Club days has arisen from the past. He mentioned the surf club kitchen. Frigg me. How could we ever forget the "amenities" Mention has been given in http://www.johnfarls.com/ of the new club, its old now? And new members will take the existing for being the "FOR ever there". WRONG. Several of us southern members, albeit local members, spent our holidays at the absolute water frontage of AVALON BEACH SURF CLUB. We dinned in opulence, we imbibed, we cajoled, we co-habited. We had our girl friends, they had us. But this is about HARRY THE CARETAKER. Harry and his strange customs. YOU FRIGGIN' OLD PISSPOT. Many social functions occurred during Harry's reign as care taker, the old bloke was responsible for security of the premises. He was unobtrusive during social activities. My naughty observations have these facts. Harry liked a drink, many times he was shouted a drink. Harry cleaned up unobtrusively during a social occasion. Harry had access to the kitchen fridge. Phil Kemp was a prick Harry will circulate unobtrusively, (there's that word again) Harry will collect half filled jugs, after a function, cigarette butts and all, and place them in the kitchen fridge. He was observed pouring half empty glasses into said jug. Harry was quite often seen to imbibe from a jug in the fridge. The prick, AKA Phil Kemp, observes this, including Farls. This is so bad. Harry was seen to imbibe from the fridge. The jug I mean. Witnessing and observing, cogitating and disseminating, the pricks have developed a heinous plan, a plan based on the preemptive needs of HARRY THE CARETAKER. Kemp your bastard, it was your plan, me, I am a simple bloke from the bush. One day we pissed in the jugs and replaced them in the fridge THE SCENARIO, HARRY DRINKING PISS. We, that is, the prick Kemp and I have invited HARRY to a drink on the verandah of the SURF CLUB. We have pissed in every container in HARRY'S fridge, we have insured he will have a good strong taste of real piss, he was a true gentleman, he loved our company. Do you know that people drink piss for health, HARRY DID? WE, THAT IS THE PRICK and me would partake from the sealed bottle. On several occasions we were guilty of liquid exchange, mongrel bastards. At no time did Harry indicate any distaste. URINE IMBIBING PART TWO. I may have mentioned that a certain degree of "BARSTARDISATION" took place during my younger years, regrettably this was a fact of life. I survived I hold no regrets, I have had my Karma, I have had my "Payback". Jackie pissed up my leg, several older members were guilty of obnoxious behavior. Even my NAUGHTY PAGE will not be the venue for explicit description. I will tell you that all of these mongrels have savored my piss, they will never know who they were, they just will never know. I ran the bar for a number of years, ENOUGH SAID? Enjoyed their company at numerous BBQ'S as self elected barman.