The following stories will shock readers who dared to enter MY NAUGHTY PAGE. For the reader who has become engrossed in my tender Auto-Biog, my apologies will come to late. HOW I GOT PENILISED?; MISSED PATROL, MISSED A SHAGG. Myself and a young lady of my acquaintance, we liked each other a lot, decided to have a walk around the rocks one day. We headed south towards Bilgola enjoying the coastal scenery and each others company; I'm not sure who made the first move. We decided to sit upon a grassy spot and in no time the subject of horizontal folk dancing was being discussed, rather an attempt was being considered. Before the first graceful, aahhh, movements could be contemplated, a fisherman was seen to approach. The Orchestra stopped playing, the fiddlers put down their bows and the organ players took a rest. Several attempts to re-kindle the fire were attempted, always a bloody fisherman entered our dance floor, bugger. I'm hot she's hot. Many moments, many attempts, many frustrations', we never got to have that dance, well not that day anyway. And then; I remembered that I was due to do my patrol duties. In an instant we gathered our selves and hurried back to the beach, an hour late. The Patrol Captain was miffed, the Club Captain was pissed off, me and me girl frustrated. "That will cost you 2 patrols Farley you randy little prick". And so that is how I missed my patrol and how I, (we) missed out on a shagg. THE SAND DUNES OF AVALON, READ SAND HILLS. This story will continue.