TRAVELA'S HORN; VIZ A VIZ CONVOY COCK.  Subject Matter #2; A peculiarly masculine infliction known as TRAVELLERS HORN or CONVOY COCK. This problem, although pleasant, can cause great stress. AKA; PILGRIMS PRICK, DROVERS DICK, MOVEMENT MONGROL, OMNIBUS PRIAPUS, 10 SECTION SAUSAGE, DESTINATION DICK, PISS HORN (sometimes painfull), etc.  On one of my pages I make reference to ‘Travelers'", no doubt conjuring up moving from one place to another, in fact the malady can be associated with movement, in the bus that is, and tight ‘undies', sometimes no ‘undies'. I have no doubt a medical person can explain the relationship between riding on a bus and the production of a fairly good erection, my story will have been related previous and no doubt have been incorporated in the "Comedians" arena. I will not be contravening Copyright by relating my story, reason; it is owned by all young and adolescent Horney boys such as my self, better get that right, I was one. It has been known for your writer to have, sometimes in the 190 Bus to Avalon, a significant bulge in the pants. The ‘bulge' is capable of cracking fleas upon using one thumb nail, it can push people out of the road. In fact, in some circles it is refered to as a "People poker", it will have a heart and lung of its own. Using the elastic properties, a projectile can be dispatched some yards. It is capable of carrying 2 suits, 4 shirts on coat hangers and a bowler hat. The problem, if there is one, can be used to advantage, what a great place to hang the newspaper, look mum no hands. The continual throbbing annoys the person in the seat ahead and seems to affect the lady Conductors concentration, "can I get on", she collects her senses, " I mean you just get on me", "fuck it turkey have you paid yer fare". In some cases the conductor will require you to pay 2 fares. There have been times when the "traveler" has been forced to alight many stops later than you would, like Palm Beach.   Many young men and boys have traveled the world, sometimes 10 times before alighting from the 190 Bus to Avalon, Visas and work permits will have to obtained for the ‘traveler' to gain ‘entry', people will use this object as a means of stabilization when the bus lurches. There have been times when the "traveler" has been forced to alight many stops later than you would, like Palm Beach or Galahgambone, (this a syndrome of the malady; repeating one's self).   Have you ever arose, better change that, have you prepared to dispatch yourself from the bus to discover the dreaded ‘Convoy Cock" has come to the forefront, to hide your embarrassment you must bend to a 90% angle from the hip and proceed eyes down until alighting, head for a cold water tap and douse the offender. This presents another problem; billowing clouds of steam can startle passers by, girls have fainted with despair, or is it anger at what could have been. The other option is to carry your bag offering protection for what is an offending organ, not now you bastard.  The set of symptoms requires no stimulation, one does not manipulate ones priapus on the Bus, I'am a looker not a puller. It requires great strength to contain it's presence. Where has the expression a boys best friend "come" from; it's one eyed, thin skinned, soft in the head. It has two hangers on, it dribbles, it spits at girls, doesn't shave, won't wear a hat in public and seldom arises when the Prime Minster enters. How come when a lady steps on the bus it won't stand up. The Travelers Horn, as described, will be my enigma for the rest of my of my life, one day I will return to Wynyard and catch the 190 to Avalon, take a triangular, green pill and if you stumble in the aisle that will be "Convoy Cock" or "Travelers Horn", I wish. Only these days a small purse is all that is required to conceal the offending ‘traveler'. Copyright johnfarls.com and other young blokes.